G
by Darkmoonphase
Summary: What does the G in Gir mean! Well, Zim decides to look into it and comes up with his own theory as to what it stands for. And he’s convinced that he’s right – no matter /what/ Gir tells him.


_**Title:**__G_

_**Rating:**__K+_

_**Summary:**__ What does the G in Gir mean?! Well, Zim decides to look into it and comes up with his own theory as to what it stands for. And he's convinced that he's right – no matter what Gir tells him._

_**Pairings:**__None_

_**Genre:**__Humor / General_

_**Disclaimer:**__I don't own "Invader Zim" or characters thereof._

--

**Zim's "DIARY",**

**Log in date: March 29 / 2:51PM**

**Gir…What does his name mean exactly? Something Information Retrieval, I believe. But I don't know what the G stands for…I MUST know. Also on this note, I hate Gir. He's much too annoying for my liking. And he's always ruining my plans for world domination! Well…when he tries to help, anyway. Other than that, he's always talking about tacos. Tacos are vile things. I don't understand his obsession with such nasty things…**

**What was my original topic again? Oh, yeah. What does the G stand for in Gir? Onto my search of what G could possibly mean…**

**Log out date: March 29 / 2:57PM**

--

I walk through my "home", nonchalantly. Gir stands by the refrigerator, staring at its contents. Ah, the idiotic Gir. I don't even know why I was assigned him. He's so useless. All he ever talks about is tacos. Even thinking the word, I make a face. "Hello, Gir," I finally say, walking up to him. He turned his head and looks at me. Again, all I can think when seeing his face is: Stupid.

"No tacos," he tells me and then looks back at the refrigerator as if he expects what he wants to suddenly appear there. Maybe the G stands for Gag – because that's what I always feel like doing when he opens his mouth… "We need tacos. Where do we get tacos? Can we get tacos?" Or maybe it's Gabber – because he just won't shut up.

"No," I answer him simply and walk away. No, this is not right. Those words are just so simple and they only explain who he is half the time. There must be a word out there that describes him better, that tells me what the G stands for. If only he knew…My curiosity would be sated by now. But, damn it, he's just so stupid! Some days he can't even remember his own name. Maybe the G stands for nothing? That can't be possible though. The G must mean _something_! Maybe it means General – because he talks about things in general, not in specific or detail.

Like me.

Or maybe it means Galvanizer because that sounds cool. And it means things like stimulating something rather…My dictionary isn't doing me much good right now as I flip through it for words that start with G. Gir has always just been Gir – no one has really questioned his name before as I think no one has really cared. But lately it's been bothering me and I can't figure out why.

What does Gir's name mean?

--

**Zim's "DIARY",**

**Log in date: March 30 / 3:18PM**

**I think I have found it! Finally, I am closer to knowing what Gir's name means…It has never occurred to me before – and I have no idea why – but perhaps his name does not contain any Earth words. Perhaps it is an Irken word and that's why I can't find it anywhere in an Earthling dictionary. It makes more sense but now I must come up with different Irken words that start with G that would make sense in Gir's name. **

**However, all the words I've come across thus far don't even begin to make sense in Gir's name! This is aggravating, really. Wait…Wait…I think I have finally come across the word that describes that annoying little robot and it makes perfect sense in his name! Now I must show him this word and see if I'm right…**

**Log out date: March 30 / 3:26PM**

**--**

"GIR!" I shout, walking around my "home" looking for the obnoxious little robot. I actually started with the kitchen today but didn't find him, sadly. He must be somewhere else but I don't know where. "_GIR_!!!" I scream and he pokes his head out from behind the couch. "Finally…Gir, I think I found out what the G in your name means!"

"G? Oh, G-I-R…What then?" he questions, tilting his head and walking out to face me.

"Granulatedgrabit," I answer and his left eye twitches. "It basically means simple-minded, if you want me to speak in Earth terms." I cross my arms and glare distastefully down at him. "It more or less describes you."

"That's not true. I'm very intelligent but this planet seems to dull my thoughts. And if I speak shrewdly, the Earthlings will think me to be suspicious," he tells me, blinking when I don't respond. "So, therefore, your theory is wrong." He seems to smile as he walks away. "I like chocolate. Do we have chocolate?"

I stand there for a minute. I was…wrong? That doesn't seem possible. I turn my glare back to his retreating back and mumble, "No," before I walk away. The G in Gir's name does not stand for Granulatedgrabit which means I will have to look harder. However, this will have to wait as with all my studies I have neglected to think about taking over the Earth. I must get back to my plotting…

--

**Zim's "DIARY",**

**Log in date: April 3 / 3:37PM**

**It seems that Gir's name will remain a mystery. I took some time yesterday – after Dib foiled my plans again – to look up more words that start with G and found nothing remotely close to what I hoped would be the initial in Gir's name. Although…If I ever have the chance, I think I might dissect the little robot and find out the word from his memory. He said it himself – he is actually smart, therefore he must know! **

**Until then, it seems my curiosity will not be sated. Damn and I thought I had it with Granulatedgrabit, too! **

**Log out date: April 3 / 3:41PM**

**--**

_**A/N: **__Ah-ha. Well, to be honest, I haven't seen "Invader Zim" in YEARS. This is a birthday present to one of my really good friends. He's probably hitting his head on the keyboard right about now with thoughts about how out of character Zim and Gir are, though. Whoops. Well, in any case, I hope everyone liked it despite the major OOCness this story probably holds._

_Happy birthday, psycho! XD_

_Please review…_


End file.
